your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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