i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
