don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
