i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
