Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am naked and annoyed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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