Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't deserve a penis
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
