I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ketchup is God's man juice
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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