Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
