dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
