But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
