You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
