so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
