my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that's an acceptable place to lick
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
