He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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