There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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