and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
