Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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