Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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