He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
