Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
