Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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