Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
