I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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