Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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