Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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