Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
