Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
