I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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