I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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