I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
