Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
