he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
