Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
