who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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