Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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