Don't make out with my wife yet
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
