so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
