It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
