she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my being single is dangerous.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
