You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
