She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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