my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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