i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dignity is for republicans.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
