Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
