it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
