love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
