No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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