apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
