smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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