I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
